Dual Personalities

A few weeks ago, I had been cornered by a chatter friend who said she was intrigued by my dual personality life. I was very annoyed with her in the beginning but started reassessing my life when I was questioned about the same thing by a few others. Am I really leading two personalities or more!? I seriously wonder……

I come from a very Indian orthodox Christian family. My mother flares in anger with words like love marriage, boyfriend and dating. She’s more into cast, arranged marriage and very typical in her way of thinking. Her mindset can’t be applied in this modern era but she can’t be changed. She thinks having a cup of coffee with a guy friend is a sin. For this reason I portray innocent in front of my parents.

Who am I really? Will people learn to accept me if I were to be my true self? I think many won’t. I’m actually this not so innocent girl but very shy in front of certain crowd. I can’t be my open self in front of people for I’m crowded with more the typical type of people. I’m afraid I’ll have many jaws fall open wide! What I can do is I can try but not sure how to blend my wild open side to my homely traditional side. I just hope my future with my guy would be an open one.

I pray daily that I may find someone who would accept me the way I am and rescue me from this cubical I shut myself in due to respect of traditions and religion. Only time can answer my prayers…..